Tuesday, July 5, 2011


It seems like fair knowledge that there are two opposing camps in regards to homosexuality in modern day society today; Homophobes who hold the conspiracy that gays choose to be gay, as part of some sort of world domination plan, and supporters of gay rights who hold the opinion that Homosexuality is like hair colour, height, or pigmentation in the sense that it's subject to genes and DNA make up. Now I can't help but actually get a bit scared by what I believe may be subtle, subconscious patronisation for gay right supporters.
Like previously mentioned, gay supporters (and by gay supporters I mean mainly heterosexual gay rights activists) say homosexuality “isn't a choice”. There have been years of research to support this, but lets ask a different question; Should we not still be respected EVEN if homosexuality was a choice. Gay supporters belt out from the rooftops that sexuality isn't a choice and that it “can't be helped”. Of course this is helpful to the cause, but almost runs along the same lines of treating someone with special needs different because they're “special”, or going easy of children because they're “innocent”. The paranoia in my mind can't help but animate a scenario where some sort of celebrity philanthropist is driving home with a smirk on his face as he leaves a gay rights rally, basking in the half hearted glory of being a “gay icon”, all the while returning to their sixth wife, their (currently under their custody (but not for long)) children, forgetting that they could, if they wanted to, bring the injustice facing many LGBT people (god I hate that term. You never have to hear anyone say “Hello, I'm J-E-W” or “Hi, I'm a AAFL (Asian American Female Lesbian)”) to the highest authority in both government and religion.
Imagine two women, both married in heterosexual relationships, both having at least one child. Woman A chooses, of her own free will, to be a stay-at-home mother and care for the child, while Woman B chooses to have a job, leaving Man B to take care of the child. Both women chose their decisions completely of their own free will. Does Woman B have the right to mock Woman A for choosing a stereotypical role for a woman? Does Woman A have the right to criticise Woman B over leaving her child? No, of course not. I had my hair long in my teens and had it nearly every colour; blue, green, red, pink, orange, white, yellow, black, and brown (when I decided to return to my original colour). Was I wrong to choose to have my hair like this? Did the people who made fun of my hair have some sort of secret magical destiny to do so simply because it was choice? No. “But Conor! You could have avoided the abuse by not dying your hair like that.” YES! And that is where the trouble of the underlying context comes into play. As humans we learn things that hurt us should be avoided at nearly all costs. Hot, cold, a flu, cuts, bruises. But what happens to people who avoid exercise? What happens to people who never learn to handle public ridicule? What happens to people who never experience love and heart break? Answer (in that order): They get fat, they cant express opinions, and they never develop self-respect and empathy. My hair is short now, a medium brown, and I'd like to think I understand appearance a bit more than I did before. All because I made a choice, and I took the pain and the mockery, but I stood by my choice, I developed a backbone, a greater understanding of character, and I looked bloody sexy in the process.
To say sexuality isn't a choice is hypocrisy; you want to be accepted, but you use a cop out. How can you say you're proud of who you are if you can't play with the idea that you intended every single inch of you just the way you are? I recall meeting someone at a party... or possibly a gig house... I was drinking so I'm not too sure. Either way this person (heterosexual from what I could gather) blurted out “I think homosexuality is a choice”. The room (or smoking area.... or ditch... whatever) filled with silence. He explained that he has gay friends, loves them and he supports gay rights, but I couldn't help but notice people's reaction to his statement. He could have taken a dump straight in front of them while saluting Hitler and he would have gotten a better reaction from them. It was disturbing. Could it be that the idea of fluid sexuality scared them? Did it scare them that people were willingly to put up with homophobia and such for the sake of being with a person you have romantic attractions for may be a step to far for them to comprehend... maybe even to endorse? Is the idea of the “helpless”, genetics driven gay more public friendly and as heart string tugging as any cute small CGI character in a Dreamworks or Pixar film. This isn't an ultimatum, but I'm just saying you can't say your proud of yourself if there's something you would change. If you're proud of being gay than act like you chose to be.
Again, scientific research has produced more than enough evidence to distinguish sexuality as something so ingrained in us like gender, race, or kidneys, but the manner in which I am analysing sexuality is on the basis of whether or not it would be better for the LGBT community to embrace the idea that they choose their sexuality. Would it help give creditability to the LGBT movement? It would certainly take the punch and meaning out of the homophobic argument, leaving them with nothing more than their last defense; a religious right to be stupid. There was a period between the 60's and mid-90's where gays were portrayed in film, television, and books are sorrowful, angst characters; people of the night. This was of course highlighted in the 80s and early 90's with the infamous AIDS epidemic with films like “Philadelphia” (1993) or “Cruising” (1980). It was only in the mid 90's onwards would characters “come out” as gay, at first as nothing more than a plot device and twist, later moving on as a reflection of the times. This could been seen as a mirror image of racial minorities inclusion into film and television, starting off first as a gimmick, then moving on as a reflection. By today's standards, feeling sorry for women because they're women, or an African Americans because they're black, or even a paraplegic because they're paralysed would erupt in a media scandal on a juggernaut scale similar to whatever scandal Sarah Palin has cased by the time you are reading this. Being a woman is a proud thing. Being Black is a proud thing. Being tall, short, Jewish, Atheist, Polish, or smart are all proud things. In all honesty, if everyone had the chance to change anything about themselves, I truly believe they wouldn't, because once they reflect upon the sense of humor they developed as a result of being bullied for year for being fat, or the intelligence they gained after years of not playing with the other kids because they made fun of their glasses, or the charisma they developed around women after being adopted by a lesbian couple, they'll realise that it made them who they are, and that they're proud to put up with all the negativity; their pride and self-respect would overwhelm their fear of rejection. Choose to be you. Choose to embrace what you've become naturally and decide to be it every time you have a chance to be otherwise. Choose to have your hair, choose to have your ascent, choose to have your gender, choose to have your passport, and most importantly choose your sexuality, especially if you choose to be gay.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Are all men homophobic?

Or at least most.
But yes, most men, who have no religious, nor moral, nor opinionated objection to homosexuals, LGBT culture, or even anything "gay" are homophobic. In short, most men who are "gay friendly" are actually homophobic.
Let me explain.
I believe there are actually 3 different types of homophobia;
-Homophobia: Mental, psychological, and/or emotional fear of homosexually erotic material (culture, porn, people, etc).
-Homophobia: The irrational hatred, mistrust, and/or hostility aimed towards homosexuals.
-Homophobia: The irrational paranoia and/or worry of coming across as homosexual, by misconceived notions of stereotypical homosexuality and/or the negative contemparary connotation of "gay".
To avoid confusion let call these 3 "homosexualphobia", "homosexual hostility", and "homosexual paranoia" respectfully. So lets ask again.
Are most men homosexualphobic?
Only a small percentage have an actual fear of homosexuals.
Are most men homosexually hostile?
It may seem so on worst days, but no. at least less than half of men are hostile to homosexuals.
Are most men homosexual paranoid?
Don't think so? Two words....


The mere fact that we have a phrase that "cancels" out gayness shows the subtle tabboo homosexuality still is seen as. The fact that men now say "no homo" when not sure whether something they said was or wasn't "gay" shows not only a complete lack of understanding and respect for the LGBT community but also it shows that most men are so uncomfortable in social settings that vaguely touch on homoeroticism that they pretty much shout (more or less) "I'M NOT GAY".
Imagine being in a coffee shop, everything's normal. And then someone bursts out "I'M NOT GAY",followed by some nervous laughing and shifty eyes. What would you think?
"Me thinks he dost protest too much".
Imagine your friend says "Hey, have you been working out? No homo", what do you think the thought process for that would have been?
Hear what they just said > recognition with familar thoughts > recognition familar thoughts with assumed actions > "NO HOMO".
It's like the King who has to be constantly told he is great. Would you have faith in a man who has to be told he's worthy?

That was only the fresh apples in the barrel. More tried and tested pillars of society that reveal the paranoia underterm of heterosexuality is the lazy use of terms like "faggot", "fag", "gay", "queer", "puff", "fairy", "nancy", "limp wrist", "bum boy", "twink", "fruit", "bent", "bender", "cake", "pixie", "prince", "dyke", "dixie", and "homos" (to name a few). I cant think of any other situation where the swear word is used on someone who isn't that thing. If a white called a black guy a "kyke", there would be a bit of confusion in the air. The black guy wouldn't be insulted. He'd be a bit angry that this other guy has a problem with jews, but he himself wouldn't be offended. However, one man calling another man a gay slur, even if he wasn't gay, would automatically result in the "victim" defending his sexuality. "I'm not gay, you're gay" is the common reaction. Imagine saying "You're so Black" and the reply is "I'm not black, you're black"; you quickly see the strange and slightly offensive circumstance you are in (especially considering that "you're so black" is, in modern day usage, reserved as a compliment and/or a description of a person's mannerism). Words like "fag" are tossed around as an insult so often that it's almost now officially not even homophobic to say it anymore. It's almost an empty threat like "I'll kill you" or "You're dead"; in context it doesn't mean anything and can be very easily brushed off with the excuse "I didn't mean it".

Can homosexuals and bisexuals be homophobic?
In some cases.... yes.
I often joke that whenever I'm creative, or when I dress nicely, or when I do anything intelligent, it's my "gay side". Sometimes when I hear myself say something I quickly follow with "man, that sounded gay". I never use the phrase "no homo", because if I did, I'd be screwed on the dating scene (I mean more than I already am), but it does seem that I have bought into this acceptance of "gay is bad". Is it brainwashing? Is the fact that I'm from a small town with a small (if not non-existing) LGBT community a cause for me to associate more with straight mannerisms than with gay sensibility? Or is it simply the fact that in reality, even with acknowledgement of LGBT culture, heterosexuality, (or "acting straight") is the dominant train of thought? I don't know. What I do know is that it does shows that I have fallen for this whole "empty phrase" mindset, where I dont say what I mean, and I don't mean what I say.


Monday, May 17, 2010

RAP is gay

Toned, shirtless guys walking around, with their trousers barely hanging on to them, talking about how their cock is bigger than yours and how their house is bigger than yours, and how they have they have bitches and hoes in the back all point to some serious overcompensation and paranoia. Rap is so obviously gay that it needs to try extra hard to cover itself, which explains why their are so many hardly dressed girls, bouncing around in the back of a limo, getting sprayed in Champagne. But the mistake that all rappers make is the Champagne. Without any shadow of a doubt, Champagne is the gayest drink ever! Champagne is so gay, even Elton John comes "nah, I'm good with my Malibu and Coke". But for whatever reason, Champagne has been used as a status symbol, to show success and achievement in rap culture. And this has absolutely no relation to the fact that Champagne is a very sexual liquid, greasing over surfaces, glistening bold lines, and highlighting sharp angles on muscles. Although, maybe for that reason Champagne is a status symbol.

Rap has amazingly tense homoerotic themes. Brotherhood in a gang. Drinking and smoking weed together. Dying in the arms of a gang member after a drive by shooting. "Homie-love" (or as I like to call it "homie-sexual"). And when a rapper goes to jail, that adds a whole new deminsion to their appeal. Although they never rap about it, after effects of "dropping the soap" can be seen. Also, lets not forget the "homie-hug" originated from rap culture. Seems very agressive, doesn't it. A simple meeting of hands becomes a full on thrust of two bodies towards each other, barely missing what have been a kiss. Even the long "rap fued" is simply and over-bloated gay bitch fight. East Coast and West Coast mike as well be called Elton John and George Michael, or Lady Gaga and Madonna.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

THE GYM is gay

It's not good enough to simply exercise anymore. You need to put yourself out there. You need to frame your body and present it to a room full of muscular, sweaty men you don't even know. You need techno music blasting in from the speakers, barely covering over the sounds of grunting and groaning as they haul up massive weights above their heads, gripping tight on the hard steel bar. No, it's not good enough to simply stay fit, you have to have mirrors all over the walls so when your doing crunches or running on treadmills you're never one quick glance away from seeing someone at the other end of the room bending over to lift some dumbbells, or fix their spandex.
Even the clothing for gyms are filled with homoerotic tendencies. Everyone has it; that tight mono-coloured shirt that turns your otherwise nonexistent nipples into perfect full scale models for ancient Greek battle armor. That same shirt which has the Nike logo conveniently placed on your chest so to invite a glance over your puffing pecks, as you cycle, pondering how many people have heard this exact same techno dance remix song in a "nightclub".
The gayest workout machine in the gym (and the solid proof that the gym has some form of homoerotic feel to it) is the ski machine. A workout for your arms and legs. It is essentially a step-up machine with dildos. No man will spend anymore than a few minutes on this machine, solely because it leaves you with only two uncomfortable options; either hold on to the dildos and have a simulated two-on-one session or let go and simply work out your legs while two dildos are thrusting themselves back and forth in front of you.
And another common scene in the gym is the alpha-male. Most definitely the most self-denying out of of all the possible closet homosexuals in the gym. This is the gym who walks around with a tank-top (normally black and with a low neck cut, showing a lot of chest), short hair spiked with gel, sitting on top of a square head, which is amazingly connected straight to the torso with no neck in between, often called Rick or Tony, and can not help but hit on women who are obviously smaller than he is. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is gay has the day is long. He's a top, he's a selfish lover, and genuinely believes he has taste in music.
The male changing room has a massive elephant in it. Their are only two types of men who enter this room. The first are the gay gaze diverters. These are the men with the philosophy no-harm-no-foul. They keep their eyes either on the ceiling or the ground, but never below the shoulders or above the knees. This is for two reasons; nothing is scarier than the thought you cant enter a room without whispers going around, and the other is the fact that when you're down to you're undies, it would be amazingly hard to hide a boner. The other type of man is the type who believes the best defense is offence. He strides around the changing room naked, chuckling to himself, proud of his god given gifts, talking to random strangers about sports and the score of the match, while he butt-flosses himself with a complimentary gym towel which he playful uses as a whip others, chuckling away, all the while saying to himself "You're the one looking, not me. That makes you gay. Ergo, I am not gay. I am King Straight in a sea of lost souls."
Although, it would be strange that a straight person would know what "ergo" means.


With no shadow of a doubt, the Republican party is by far the gayest and most fabulous party in American Politics. No other party has such a unique and wonderfully gay system as Republicans. Almost any Republican who speaks against homosexuality is found 3 months later getting sucked off or sucking off in a male restroom in a distant gay bar, possibly several miles from their own home state. But each one of these men escape public humiliation by falling to their knees and praying to Jesus to pray the gay away and promise to never enter those "sinful" ways again (or at least get caught doing so).
While we have Jesus hear, isn't it funny how Republicans manically quote the story of Sodom in the Bible. It's strange how for people who strictly believe homosexual intercourse is a gross and devious act they seem completely obsessed and compelled to not only read this graphic passage in the Bible about gay sex over and over again, but also to learn it off by heart, so they can play it over and over in their head. For people who call themselves Christians, they seem to quote that one part more often than any other, including actual quotes of Jesus.
Part of the Republican ideology is this Ronald-Reagan-man-crush-obsessedCowboy idea, that the Republican party is this wild, unyeilding, stupendously rugged outlaw with big, massive, throbbing guns. And boy, do Republicans LOVE their guns. They love long guns, hard guns, big guns, massive guns, guns with big loads, guns that shoot all over the place, guns that are bigger than anyone elses, and guns that you can walk around with and feel comfortable to whip out and show to their friends. Hell! If they feel like it, they'll let them hold their big, hard, long gun in their hands, and maybe even mess around with it. No wonder Republicans don't want their guns taken away.
Yes, big guns, Biblical gay sex, and double standards...is it any wonder the Republicans have the Log Cabin Party. Gay Conservatives, as they like to be called (not to be confused with regular conservatives (despite what I've said above)), believe in the American way and traditional values. Now you may ask why? Well when you realise many Republicans believe a woman's place is in the kitchen, which means that many grown men will be locked in a room for hours on end, hot, sweaty, and roaring at the top of their voices over passing bills and policy making, slowly taking off their expensive suit jackets and ties as the hot Summer days go by, it becomes a little more clear what the alternative motives may be.
"But Conor, why do Republicans hate homosexuals so much if they are secretly gay themselves?"
Simple; saturation. Gay is chic no. Turn on the television. There is bound to be a camp, gay character somewhre. Ugly Betty, The OC, True Blood, Glee, Dexter, United States of Tara, Nip/Tuck, Six Feet Under, Family Guy, Simpsons, American Dad, Hollyoaks, EastEnders, Dr. Who, Torchwood, Buffy the vampire Slayer...etc. Politics is a funny business in America. It's as much a show as it a serious politic system. You have to stand out, be seen, be liked, and be talked about. It's easy to say the democrats have all the homosexual supporters, so Republicans are left with no idea but to go after the homophobes, even if this means hiding their own inner gay.
That big red GOP elephant in the room just got a whole lot pinker.